Tuesday, May 7, 2019

FUBAR

I'm sure most of you are familiar with that acronym. The last 7 weeks have pretty much gone south here at Runamuck. First off, to all who have sent private e-mails to me wondering WTF, well, thank YOU! My mother has been in and out of the hospital, regardless of the cancer being stable she is basically given up. Her confusion has deepened, she refuses to eat or drink or do anything but sit and wait to die. At this point in those rare lucid moments she has refused all life extending measures. There really is no point in rehydrating her, and such if in a weeks time she is going to be in the same condition. We had talked about this when she first got sick, so it was no surprise to me she refused this weekend to have any more blood draws, urine samples or fluids. She is moving into the health center and hospice is being brought in to make her as comfortable as possible as we have arrived at the end game. It seems like I've done nothing but watch both my parents die since 2015 and it makes me sore of heart and head.
I'm posting this now so I don't have to explain a number of times. I'll be back to blogging. I don't know when but no doubt I'll crawl out by fall to at least bitch about another hot smokey summer!
Please excuse me if I don't always answer e-mail. I have spent very little time on the internet and dealing with the day to day reality of it is about as much as I'm willing to handle right now. Talking about it all is like ripping a fresh scab off.
So again, thank you for checking in with me. It's not a great moment in time but forward is the only option.
As Arnold famously said, "I'll be back."